Jealous and stuff

Self esteem is a nasty bitch. That’s the preface to my rant. I assume that jealousy stems from low self esteem. I guess, sometimes it seems that things are too good to be true. If you are dating someone who seems so great, can it be real? I’m perplexed and worried that my craziness will scare someone away. I just think we all worry about being hurt, some more than others. The part that I can’t handle is the not knowing. I guess its easier if you are married but it doesn’t change anything. I just wish that I could control all situations but it’s impossible. I can only control the things I can control. I have to let go of this fear to be hurt. I do fear being hurt. The idea of opening up and loving someone scares me because I worry they will leave me alone.
I guess it’s weird when someone only has hot friends. You know, I have friends of all kinds. Most of my friends are just cool and I have a limited group that I call friends. I guess you have to trust the person you are with but it’s hard when everyone hits on him all the time. I guess you just have to say to yourself, self, fuck it. There is nothing I can do.
I normally don’t care if someone likes me. I’m in a rare situation where I like someone and I worry that it will go wrong. What is love? I don’t know. I hope to one day have that taste on my tongue but for now, I am waiting.

Some ramblings from a coffee depleted man

Life changes so should feelings. It’s natural for a viewpoint to shift after some years. You can find someone so interesting and lovable but realize that those feelings were misguided. It’s an interesting development to realize that what you knew of love was nothing if not immature. To embrace love for the first time is life changing and so important. I think the transition from love to friendship is as easy as realizing that you have found something good. It takes embracing something magic to realize you never had it before. The true test to any relationship is how to survive it and if so, love it. Love the broken and fragile. The fragile is the sweetest part.
Broken bones heal but broken hearts always stay wounded. The fortunate souls who realize they are better off without the constant misery. I find it interesting to see the object of desire become human. We often see those we care for as more than human, they become the unattainable, the forbidden fruit. When those people fall, it’s hard not to smile at your loss. You might not have won the battle but the war seems to be in your own hands. It’s a very destructive viewpoint but an honest view that most people will never admit to feeling. It’s natural to take some sort of pleasure in seeing those that have hurt you and broken you, come undone. We should rejoice because we all feel pain and that’s what makes us so human. There is not pain without pleasure and in the pain, we find some semblance of who we are.

I do believe the wars of the heart are the hardest battles to face. To change the world, you must change your heart. Learn to look past the ease of seeking revenge or bitterness. I feel you have to deal with the backyard before you expect to take care of the neighborhood. It’s not selfish to work out your heart and make sure that you are putting your emotional and spiritual needs first. In this manner, you can find yourself.

McCain, Friend to Veterans?

If you have been following the election, you no doubt have seen Mr. McCain proclaim his love for the troops. It's almost sincere at times and you might believe that he really feels for our troops and veterans. In fact, in this week’s debate in Nashville, he walked over and shook the hand of one of the Vet's in the audience.
The truth is that McCain has never worked progressively for Veterans rights. If you go to the website, http://www.veteranreportcard.org/ and search McCain, you will see where he stands.
Our possible future President scored a D. Yes, a D on the report card. It seems that Mr. McCain only voted for Veteran's rights three times. He was a no show on 6 different votes below:
New GI Bill (2nd vote) 06/26/2008 Not Voting
New GI Bill (3rd vote) 06/26/2008 Not Voting
A New GI Bill (1st vote) 05/22/2008 Not Voting
Stopping a Second Rate GI Bill 05/14/2008 Not Voting
Enhanced Veterans' Benefits 04/24/2008 Not Voting
Expanded Veterans' Benefits 10/01/2007 Not Voting

McCain only voted on three issues in 2007 and none in 2008.

Veterans' Health Care, 2008 09/06/2007 Voted
Funding for MRAPS 03/29/2007 Voted
Veterans' Health Care, 2007 02/14/2007 Voted

Why would someone who claims to be such a friend to soldiers, not show? Let me put it in perspective for you. Senator Ted Kennedy was in a coma for most of the Report Card but yet still managed to have more Votes in favor of Veterans rights, 6 to McCain's 3. On a side note, Senator Obama scored a B on the report card with no major military background. Interesting?

The major point of this blog is to shine the light on the fact that McCain is a hypocrite in the worst way. He does not support Veterans and never made an actual attempt to support the G.I. Bill that was passed recently for our Vet's. It comes down to this reason. McCain is rich and does not need to worry himself with those things. He is selfish and only thinks of himself. How can he lead this country when he puts our Vet's on the backseat? It's not the only important issue but I do think it shows his hypocrisy.

After writing this blog, I decided to check youtube for the video of McCain shaking the hand of the Vet but instead found this video which speaks volume.