Over You

I always knew this day would come
World is just too small
To keep our paths from crossing
Here we are just look at us

I always wondered what I'd say
Would I tell you that life is great?
I'm getting better all the time
Really lookin' up

Could I be too proud
To show my heart?
Well, to tell the truth
It's not that hard

I'm still not over you
Still the only thing I wanna do
Is open up my arms and reach for you
And to hear you say, you want me, too

You're the one for me
Time doesn't seem to disagree
Baby, I'm still not
Over you getting over me

Guess I'll never be
Over you

So there it is, I've said it now
God I wish some way somehow
You'd look at me, start to cry
Say, you missed me too

But you moved on
I understand
Yeah, I tried that too
But here I am

I'm still not over you
Still the only thing I wanna do
Is open up my arms and reach for you
And to hear you say, you want me, too

You're the one for me
Time doesn't seem to disagree
Baby, I'm still not
Over you getting over me

Guess I'll never be

Strong enough to finally set you free
I know love will never let me be

Over you
I'm still not over you

A New Day

This morning, I was told it was the summer of Adam. A reference to the Seinfeld episode when George declared the summer of George. I'm not sure if this will be true for me but lets wait and see.

I had an interesting evening. I hung with a guy all night and just talked. It had been so long since that happened that I kind of forgot how nice it can be to just talk. Granted, the guy is good looking but it was nice to see something else going on besides a pretty face.

Its been a funky few months and my feelings have not always been clear on what I wanted versus what I needed. I had got burned and was taking some comfort in being alone and refusing dates and such. I'm glad that I stuck out for something more.

I enjoy this feeling, the feeling of not being sure if someone is attracted to you or just friends. Its interesting. I'm very flexible and would like both but sometimes people just don't feel you the same way. Its interesting and I have not been in this position in a long time. I kind of like it.

My lies

Why can't it be gone? These feelings are torture for me. You won't just let me let go. I have not acknowledged you yet you continue to attempt contact. I want you to let me heal. Its taken me four months to even begin to feel normal again. You left that message on Saturday and it just hurts to hear your voice. If you only knew what I had done to move past it all. You are cold, emotionless. You feel nothing but your own needs and desires. NO concern for any one else. You are a robot. I wish I could approach this in that same method. Alas, I invest in my feelings too much.

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Warrior

A warrior doesn't need personal history. One day, he finds it is no longer necessary for him, and he drops it.

A beautiful quote I read today and it really moved me. It moved me for several reasons. I think these words sum up the last three months of my life. I have begun to let go of the past and accept my present. It’s interesting that we live so obsessed with everything in our possession and what we can achieve. I have lived with everything and I have lived with nothing. I still exist in the same soul and that is what makes me a warrior. I fight for it, the answers to my questions. I am not a warrior in the sense of fighting battles or destroying adversaries but more a warrior of myself. Trying to make a way for the world to work for me.

I have recently let go of the past in many ways and its truly liberating. I began by deleting emails and phone numbers from the past, deleting MySpace, and letting go of my life before the now. I will no longer dwell on the past. I have always been, for lack of a better word, a gypsy. I go where I want and partake of the world in my own ways while honoring my moral compass that guides me. I don’t judge others when possible and expect the same in return.

I have learned that the only way to be truly free is when you are no longer tied down to the world. I think that is why ancient man never created a book called “He’s just not that into you”. The world has changed. The relationship structure has changed and many assume this is for the best. Is this for the best?

Ancient warriors would fight and return home as victors. There was a sense of honor and they never worried about their credit scores or who to ask out on a date. They took what they want, had a moral code, and fought for the rest. There is always a downside but the basic idea is interesting to me.

Simple lives existing in simple ways was the idea and it seemed to serve its function. Why must we constantly try to progress? This constant need to acquire more and more, create more and more, and to live longer and longer seems to be quite unique our day and age.

I am letting go of my past world. I am seeking a spiritual enlightenment of some kind. I see the world in its true nature of good and bad and realize that without humans, the world would not exist. We cohabitate and we need each other, we all need each other.

Fate VS Free Will

We don't choose the things we believe in; they choose us."
—Lamar Burgess

Ive been contemplating these kind of questions more as of late. Its easy not to think about such dire things but it comes up everyday. For a long time...I believed in free will. We make our choices. We define our paths.

But lately..ive questioned this. Do we have any control? Its easy to say no..it frees us to an extent. Frees us from the burden of mistakes made, consequences. We can do whatever we want. When things happen in life that surprise us and we cant explain how they occured...it seems to point us in the fate direction. Im interested to find out how some of you guys look at this. Have you experienced events that changed your path..changed your mind?

Friendship

"Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks"

"Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other."
- Honore Debalazac

"Friends are just enimies who don't have enough guts to kill you"

"Friends are like roses...you have to look out for the pricks!

"Whenever a friend suceeds, a little something in me dies."
- Gore Vidal

"I don't trust him. We're friends."
- Bertolt Brecht

"Only enemies speak the truth, friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty."